It is clear that entering a relationship is a life-changing experience. However, in the same way, that the process by which we fall in love with a person is full of intense emotions, if the time comes to break the relationship, this also triggers an emotional reaction that, in most cases, is very strong.
Thus, we can say that there is a certain balance in couple relationships: what is a phase of our lives leads us to want to be with that person at all costs, turns into pain when the love bond is broken, or when coexistence ends for one reason or another.
Romantic Breakups and their Psychological Consequences
Now that the breakup experience is painful does not mean that there are no ways to cushion the painful psychological blow that it entails for us. In fact, psychologists often work with these kinds of cases to help people improve their emotional management of this experience.
Read also: How to Overcome Infidelity in Marriage.
How to overcome a breakup, then? Throughout this article, we will see key ideas that psychology professionals use on a regular basis to guide and train those who seek therapeutic support from us. They are not advised that they can replace psychotherapy in terms of effectiveness, but in most cases, they help.
How to Get Over a Breakup and Feel Good Again?
The advice that we will see below is based on two ways by which we can adapt to a situation of couple breakdown: the way of life habits and relationships with the environment, on the one hand, and the way of thoughts, beliefs, and introspection, on the other. Both are a reflection of the way in which cognitive-behavioral therapy is worked, which, as its name indicates, intervenes in both behavior and cognition (that is, the thoughts and ideas of the person).
In this way, to overcome a rupture, we must transform both our style of thinking and interpreting reality, as well as the way in which we move and expose ourselves to different objective situations that can be observed by more than one person. Neglecting one of these two pillars will make it more likely that we will fail, by thinking in one way but not acting accordingly or performing certain routines but not believing in them.
On the other hand, these tips must be adapted to your case; To overcome a breakup, what you do to rethey help medy it has tthe context in which you live and the particularities of your problem.
1. Accept their Decision and Respect their Space
Regardless of whether the relationship has ended on your own initiative or on the initiative of your ex-partner, it is essential to respect what the other person has decided and not to impose your presence on him if he does not seek it. Doing this will only harm both of you, creating situations of conflict, or even intimidation. In addition, it will serve to keep alive the illusion that the breakup has not occurred, something that ends up lengthening the duration of the frustration felt in these cases.
2. Express what you Feel in Words
The breakup is, in a way, a grieving process. Even if the other person has not died or gone to a very distant country, we are saying goodbye to a way of life that we have probably come to consider the only acceptable way to live. Living with a loved one is often taken for granted when it has been going on for several months or weeks. Seeing those expectations of living with the other person forever truncated is painful.
Therefore, it is important to put an order in what you feel, to structure it to avoid that disorientation is added to the pain of the situation. To do this, you can try writing a journal in which, day by day, you put your thoughts into words or by meeting with a loved one to whom you can talk about what you feel.
3.Avoid Everything that Reminds you of that Person
It is normal not to feel like having objects, spaces, or people in view that remind us of our former partner, and it is normal that we decide to avoid those encounters at certain times.
However, this show d not be done with almost everything that brings back those memories. Otherwise, we will be making the breakup taboo become a much bigger monster, something that will obsess us because it will have more power to condition our day to day, restricting our freedom of movement and thought.
So, dose those moments of “avoidance” and try not to be the norm.
4. Focus on Anti-stress Activities
The weeks that follow a breakup after a relatively long relationship are usually hard because the discomfort affects our thinking and our entire body.
In fact, aspects such as uncertainty or the experience of emotionally painful memories usually come hand in hand with many of the symptoms of anxiety, such as the appearance of moments in which our muscles remain unconsciously more tense than normal, and even a greater reactivity to environmental stimuli, as well as difficulties when concentrating on a task.
To counteract this and release tensions accumulated by stress, a good idea is to play sports. This helps to get rid of those recurring memories since we are set with a simple goal in which we have to involve our entire body, and that requires us to be concentrated and to loosen the muscles by making them coordinate with each other and adopt many different states in a relatively short period.
5. Maintain a Rich Social Life
Social isolation is our great enemy when it comes to overcoming a breakdown. Being alone, exposing ourselves over and over to our memories and little else only fuels the emotional imprint left by the loss relationship.
Therefore, even if we don’t feel like it too much, it is important to socialize regularly in informal communication contexts (work does not count). This will expose us to many other experiences and ideas that have nothing to do with what we have previously been experiencing, so it will be easier to connect with any of them and direct our attention focus in that direction since we will have more things that we do not.
For example, meet new people, develop a hobby in a group, or simply go to social events where something is proposed with the capacity to interest you.
Adapted and translated by The Cop Cart Staff