Getting rid of painful memories is essential. But in reality, it’s not so simple. Use these tips to let go of your past finally.
Why is it so hard
If you dwell on pain, regret, and guilt, they will continue to haunt you. If you concentrate on joy and happiness, you will notice more of them in your life. You’ve probably had situations in your life when you made an effort to reduce your stress, but instead, you became even more nervous. Or they attempted to relax but discovered new causes for concern.
The same thing happens when we try to let go of the past. Painful memories will continue to bother us until we entirely focus on something else.
Do not deny and push away painful memories. You cannot focus on a problem and find a solution. Because the problem is seldom where the solution is, try to switch. To do this, first, accept reality. Don’t debate your feelings or thoughts. Don’t resist. Don’t push them away. Instead, allow them to exist.
For instance, in order to accept your guilt, tell yourself, “Yes, I am guilty.” If you cannot forgive the wrong done to you, say, “Yes, I cannot forgive this person.”
This does not mean that all this is true. It’s just a way to control negative thoughts and emotions so that they don’t control you. By agreeing with them, you stop fighting. And if there are no other issues to debate, then negative thoughts and memories lose their power in your favor.
Introduce new things into your life
Fear of change is a universal emotion, especially when we don’t know what’s coming. This is one of the reasons we cling to painful memories so much. After all, they symbolize the familiar, which we are afraid to refuse. To prevent this from happening, try to imagine what will happen in the future as carefully as possible. As carefully as possible, instead of pushing away unwanted emotions, let positive emotions into your life.
Focus on your desires
Mentally replaying our mistakes, dwelling on the past, we only get upset. This not only darkens the future but also makes the present bleak. Stop pushing away painful memories and embrace reality. Accept your feelings of guilt, anxiety, and other negative emotions. This way, you can free yourself from their influence. Then imagine how you would like to see your life. Focus on your desires, not the past.
Adapted and translated by The Cop Cart Staff
Sources: Life hacker