Getting rid of painful memories is essential. However, in practice, this is not so easy. Use these tips to let go of your past finally.
Why is it so hard
If you dwell on pain, regret, and guilt, they will continue to haunt you. If you focus on happiness and joy, you will notice more of them in your life. You’ve probably had situations in your life when you tried to get rid of stress, but as a result, you became even more nervous. Or they wanted to calm down but found even more reasons to worry.
The same thing happens when we try to let go of the past. Until we completely turn our attention to something else, we will continue to suffer from painful memories.
Do not deny and push away painful memories. You cannot focus on a problem and find a solution. Because the solution is always not where the problem is, try to switch. To do this, first, accept reality. Don’t argue with your thoughts and feelings. Don’t resist. Don’t push them away. Instead, allow them to exist.
For example, to come to terms with your guilt, tell yourself, “Yes, I am guilty.” If you cannot forgive the wrong done to you, say, “Yes, I cannot forgive this person.”
This does not mean that all this is true. It’s just a way to control negative thoughts and emotions so that they don’t control you. By agreeing with them, you stop fighting. And if there is nothing more to argue about, then negative thoughts and memories lose their power in your favor.
Introduce new things into your life
Change always causes fear, especially when we have no idea what lies ahead. This is one of the reasons we cling to painful memories so much. After all, they symbolize the familiar, which we are afraid to refuse. To prevent this from happening, try to imagine what will happen in the future as carefully as possible. As carefully as possible, instead of pushing away unwanted emotions, let positive emotions into your life.
Focus on your desires
Mentally replaying our mistakes, dwelling on the past, we only get upset. This not only darkens the future but also makes the present bleak. Stop pushing away painful memories and embrace reality. Say yes to anxiety, guilt, and other negative thoughts. This way, you can free yourself from their influence. Then imagine how you would like to see your life. Focus on your desires, not the past.
Adapted and translated by The Cop Cart Staff
Sources: Life hacker