Nobody wants to be manipulated, but whoever they are, they are rarely aware that this is happening. The worst thing is that the manipulator thinks he has his own ideas, but everything was put in his head by the manipulator, and achieved his own goals.
And what can you do to avoid becoming a victim? The communications specialist, Preston Ni, gave some straightforward tips so that you can escape this situation. Check out:
Know your fundamental rights
This is the most important tip. If you are aware of your rights and recognize when they are violated, hardly anyone will be able to manipulate you. Remember that you can always.
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- demand respectful treatment
- express their opinions and wishes
- decide your priorities
- saying 'no' without feeling guilty
- receive for what you paid
- protect yourself from physical, mental, and emotional threats
- build a healthy and happy life
All of this represents a limit, which cannot be violated by other people. Thus, you have the power and moral authority to declare that you are the conductor of your life, not the manipulator.
Preserve your space
A manipulator tends to have several different faces; he acts in extreme and opposite ways in different social situations, is the famous Falsiane. And if you notice that trait in someone, preserve your space and keep your distance. Avoid an intimate relationship with that person, as you may end up being harmed.
Avoid blaming yourself
Manipulators will take advantage of your weaknesses, exposing them to make you feel inadequate and still blame yourself for failing to satisfy them. Remember, though, that you are not the problem, and you shouldn't feel bad about yourself. To define the situation, ask yourself.
- Am I being treated with sincere respect?
- Are that person's expectations and demands reasonable to me?
- Is the relationship reciprocal?
- Lately, do I feel good about myself in the relationship?
These questions will let you see the real problem in the relationship: you or the person.
Put it in focus
The handler will tell you to do some things, but if there is a disproportionate request, focus on him, asking the right questions to see if the person can verify the requests' absurdity. For example:
- Does that feel right to you?
- Does what you want to seem fair?
- Do I have any choice in this?
- Are you asking or telling me?
- What do I get with that?
- Do you really expect me to do this?
In doing so, you place a mirror in front of your manipulator, who must see your true face. And if he still isn't intimidated, we may be facing a pathological case.
Also read: How to Achieve Positive Discipline
Use time to your advantage
The handler will always demand immediate responses, as this will increase the pressure and control the situation. But you must give yourself a break before answering.
Just say, "I'll think about it." This way, you will be able to see if you really want to do what was asked.
Know how to say a firm but diplomatic 'no.'
The art of communication is to say unconvinced and diplomatic. This makes you work your relationships very well.
Check the consequences
When a manipulator insists on violating his limits, it has consequences. And identifying those consequences will disrupt that person's plans.
Face the bullies - safely
Keep in mind that the bully (who inside is a big coward) will only provoke the one he considers weakest. Therefore, if you are always passive and complacent, you will be a target.
If the target starts to feel strong and secure, the bully will lose interest. This is true in the school environment, as well as in the home and work environment.
Adapted and translated by The Cop Cart Staff
Sources: Tudointeressante
