We all lie, but we do it for different reasons. However, it is possible to get rid of this habit. Sometimes we don’t even notice it. What is it; an instinctive desire to hurt another person or the need to show oneself in a favorable light?
What are the types of lies?
- An omission: an understatement, a desire to hide the truth or some details.
- Denial: unwillingness to admit the truth.
- Self-deception: The self-belief that false information is actually true.
- Substitution of concepts: providing inaccurate information, misinterpreting, or distorting facts.
- Exaggeration/understatement: inconsistency of information with reality.
- Gray lie: lie according to your interests.
- White lie (lie for good): the desire to protect someone from the cruel truth or cheer someone up.
- Black lie: a deliberate lie that only makes it worse for others and the liar himself.
Why are we lying
There can be a huge number of reasons why we are lying. After all, a person is an infinitely complex psychological system. However, knowing the types of lies can reveal this secret and help you understand the liar’s motivation and true intentions.
We lie if we don’t want to hurt the feelings of a loved one. Sometimes we have to confuse others to keep a secret.
Some of us lie, instinctively trying to shield ourselves from pain and frustration. However, this is very selfish.
We can lie to get some benefit for ourselves. Energy vampires present themselves as victims in this way and suck the energy out of other people.
Pathological liars behave in such a way as to gain sympathy and pity from others and attract attention.
Why do men lie
To avoid drama
Women are inherently more emotional than men. Therefore, men lie so as not to aggravate the situation.
In order not to hurt a woman’s feelings
A man subconsciously puts himself at the family’s head, thereby wishing to protect his woman from worries and troubles. In this case, men lie, hoping they are doing it for good.
To hide self-doubt
Quite often, men lie about their work, hobbies, and personal life. Thus, they want to assert themselves in the eyes of others.
Why do women lie
According to a recent study, women tend to cheat twice as often as their partners.
Perhaps the secret lies in the peculiarities of the structure of the female and male brain. The left hemisphere is responsible for the speech abilities of men and both for women. Therefore, women can predict the interlocutor’s reaction and say what they want to hear from them.
The motives behind women’s deceptions may be the same as those of men. However, there are other reasons why they are lying.
To cheer up someone
Women can flatter to cheer someone up, raise someone’s self-esteem, or instill confidence in that person.
In order not to seem vulnerable
Women are afraid to run into trouble, so they instinctively protect themselves.
To save face
The opinion of friends or colleagues is very important for many women. Therefore, sometimes they lie to appear better than they are.
How to communicate with a liar
If you are often deceived by one of your relatives, you do not need to express complaints to him in person and call him a liar. It can make your relationship worse. Do not humiliate him, but try to talk. Think about why the person is telling you a lie. Perhaps he needs help or advice.
If you catch your child lying, surround him with care and trust. Indeed, very often, children lie out of fear of being punished or misunderstood. The child should feel that he can tell you everything and that no one will blame him for it.
He needs to be told that it is not good to lie and that sooner or later, the truth will come to light anyway. Be sure to support this truth by example. What we learn in childhood usually stays with us for life.
With a partner
Honesty is the key to a happy and trusting relationship. Discuss urgent problems together, share your emotions and experiences. This is the only way you can solve them and keep the relationship.
If one of your colleagues is lying to you, be on your guard. Find out how fair the statements are, why the colleague says this, and what consequences deception can lead to. Having learned these details, you can decide how to proceed. If you decide to talk to this person, control yourself. It is worth having a private conversation and, if necessary, asking someone for help.
How to stop lying
If you are aware of your problem, a few tips can help you.
1. Find out the reason
Try to remember how, when, and why you started to lie. What are you trying to hide in this way? Lying is a certain kind of addiction that, like everyone else, must be dealt with. If you’re worried you won’t be able to do it alone, seek help from family or friends.
2. Remind yourself of the consequences of lying
Surely you chose to forget how your lies hurt someone. However, you need to recall this moment in memory. Let it serve as a reminder of how lying can ruin relationships and ruin life.
3. Confess your lie
If you catch yourself lying again, don’t make excuses. Admit it. Explain that you are currently working to overcome this problem. Perhaps the one to whom you lied will be able to help you.
4. Don’t promise the impossible
Sometimes it is difficult to admit that you cannot do something, especially if you have promised to accomplish something useful and good. Just remember that your broken promises hurt the people you care about.
5. Work on self-esteem
Perhaps you are lying because of self-doubt. Talk to family and friends about your character. Find out your positive and negative qualities. Even if you hear unpleasant things about yourself, loved ones say it to make you better and help you.
Adapted and translated by The Cop Cart Staff
Sources: Life hacker