How to Live When You Don’t Want Anything

Everyone has periods when even simple daily activities – washing dishes, working with mail, playing with a child – become a burden. What can we say about complex projects, creativity, and new beginnings? In this case, psychologists say that the person has left the resource state. Mental resource – that is, he stopped feeling stable, full, rested.

This can happen due to illness or severe fatigue, failures at work and conflicts with loved ones, tragic events, age and personality crises, and so on. Weakness and apathy can fade away after a person has rest, or they can turn out to be symptoms of incipient depression and a reason to consult a psychotherapist. We figure out what should be done to help ourselves.

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Forget about magic dumplings.

From childhood, we are taught that inaction is always bad. Laziness is a vice. Idleness is a sin; procrastination is a lot of losers. And no matter how bad it is, you need to tear your ass off the couch, get out of your comfort zone, work, engage in self-development, be active, and productive. It is not surprising that having fallen out of the resource state, a person, first of all, begins to blame himself for it.

This is followed by attempts to force oneself to work, punish for inaction, and stimulate oneself with threats. These are all forms of negative motivation. HR expert Daniel Pink argues that neither punishment, intimidation, and pressure, nor carrots and sticks work in the long run. On the contrary, this approach leads to the fact that a person no longer sees the meaning of what he is doing.

How to Live When You Don't Want Anything
Image source: Reproduction/Internet

Some experts claim that laziness does not exist at all. Others believe it is a defense mechanism that saves us from overwork. A whole tangle of reasons and feelings can be hidden behind inaction: fear of failure, lack of motivation, fatigue, or illness, in the end, a banal unwillingness to do what is needed.

If you have fallen out of the resource state, it is worth considering taking a break and rest, as far as circumstances permit. Or go into a kind of energy-saving mode, do only the most necessary things, and postpone all other tasks until better times or delegate to relatives, friends, and colleagues.

Have an internet detox

According to American research, Facebook Use Causes Envy; Depression Could Follow, 58% of social media users, comparing their lives with internet friends’ posts, assess it negatively, and feel like a failure. Constantly looking back at others and reading posts about other people’s achievements can be great to shatter your self-esteem. And this is hardly required for a person who already has neither the strength nor the mood.

For a period of rest and recovery of resources, it may be worth giving up social media. Or limit their use to the required minimum. The same goes for any “motivating” literature. Reading about earning more and living brighter is better when you have the strength for all this.

Praise yourself

In the pyramid of needs Theory of Human MotivationAbraham Maslow, on one of the upper tiers, there is a need for respect and recognition. For a person to feel good, it is essential to know that they are valued and that their actions are important and meaningful. If not from kindergarten, we get used to waiting for praise from other people and not ourselves.

And we consider achievements only that can be measured, evaluated, and presented to others – a promotion at work, buying a car, and getting a diploma. At first glance, many small steps that make up our path to great success go unnoticed.

John Croft, an ecologist who has studied Australian aborigines’ life and philosophy for many years and his colleagues, came up with Dragon dreaming of planning personal and corporate projects. He believes that four processes should be present in life – dreaming, planning, acting, and celebrating. And without the last – celebration – the cycle remains unfinished. We do not feel pleasure and recognition.

Cooking a delicious and balanced meal is, at first glance, a trifle. But if you take a closer look, this is one element that makes up the whole family’s health. Half a text page is seemingly tiny, but you can write a whole book in a year at such a pace.

For those who are tired, confused, and unsure of themselves, it is especially important to celebrate achievements – both big and small, every day. Alternatively, keep a success diary and write at least five things to praise yourself for every day. It even counts what we are used to not noticing – routine household chores and work tasks.

This practice will help you feel significant and find a source of recognition and praise within yourself, rather than expecting them from other people. And of course, no one bothers to pamper yourself with entertainment and pleasant purchases or make it a rule to celebrate successes with family or friends regularly.

Take your time and ask for help.

In difficult periods, we are looking forward to any bright period – a day when the mood will be a little better and a little more energy. And when it comes, there is a temptation to rush to solve a million problems and make heroic plans. However, there is no need to rush.

Also read: 8 Simple Tips Not to Be Manipulated.

David Burns, in the best-selling book Mood Therapy. A clinically proven way to beat depression without pills” says that getting out of the vicious circle of apathy, inactivity, and self-flagellation makes it very important not to rush things and start with simple things, gradually increasing the load.

And so, step by step, he gradually gets out of the emotional hole he finds himself. However, if you still cannot cope with apathy and return to a resource state on your own, this is a reason to seek help from a psychotherapist.

Adapted and translated by The Cop Cart Staff

Sources: Life hacker

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