Check if there are emotional rapists or abusers in your environment because there is only one salvation from them; to run wherever you look. Let’s find out more.
What kind of beast is this – an abuser
There are real professionals in violence. They mock and humiliate others to compensate for their own internal shortcomings; it is their habit to live and communicate. Such people are called abusers (from English abuse – cruel treatment, abuse of power).
That is, the abuser can be a man or woman of different ages and social status.
The problem with communicating with such people is that they force a person to do something andim feel like a black sheep and feel guilty. The victim of the abuser receives the message: “You are a complete nonentity, I hate you! And yes, I am angry, but it is your fault that brought me to such a state! “
Read also: 5 Signs Of An Unhealthy Relationship
How to recognize an abuser
1. The abuser is rude to animals and children
A sign that does not require special comments because of a rude attitude and harsh remarks (“All children need to be flogged, but harder so that they know who is in charge of the family!” a person’s inner craving for violence.
2. The abuser ignores personal boundaries
In families, this can manifest itself in the habit of entering someone else’s room without knocking, trying to take other people’s things without asking, prohibitions to close doors, which are accompanied by the phrases “Why are you closing the door? Do you have anything to hide from me? “
If this is an unfamiliar person, then he comes too close, touches your things, and touches you, not interested in your opinion on this matter. And if you start to resist and show your displeasure, he says something like: “Oh, how gentle we are!” – as if accusing you of being unpleasant for the intrusion of a stranger.
3. The abuser denies the legitimacy of your own feelings, desires, and requests
In the family, he will ignore your attempts to say that you are hurt, unpleasant, scared, that you do not want to do something or go somewhere. Your pleas and tears will not touch him. The maximum that you can hear is “Stop whining!” “It’s good for me to endure the brain!” “Do you want me to get angry ?!”.
If this is an unfamiliar person, he will act in the same way as described in the previous paragraph, accusing you of being oversensitive or simply not understanding. If you do, then you will definitely not evaluate.
4. Abuser criticizes all the time
From a loved one, you will regularly hear that you have a terrible figure, that you are always dressed differently (“Why did you dress like a prostitute ?!”, “Well, you look like a homeless person in such clothes!”), You bring up children incorrectly (“Normal mothers feed a child breastfeeding up to three years! “), behaving in the wrong way (” Well, why are you different! Also a man for me, no wonder Ninka left you! “).
Also read: 5 Smart Ways To Say No To Your Boss
If this is an unfamiliar person, then about other people – colleagues, bosses, former partners, sexual and national minorities – he will speak extremely dismissively, accusing him of all sins and condemning for every offense.
Don’t like the way a new friend talks about others? Be wary: it may not be long before he starts treating you the same way.
5. Abuser monitors and interrogates
In the family, he strives to solve all the main issues and to be aware of what, where, when, and with whom you did; holds the budget in his hands, and makes you ask permission for every occasion. It also includes bosses who practice total and covert control (convert video and audio recording) and and sudden checks.
If this person is unfamiliar, he will try to do everything possible to get the right to control you as soon as possible. She will persuade you to move in quickly, formalize a relationship, quit your job, have a child while not being particularly interested in your life plans.
Adapted and translated by The Cop Cart Staff
Sources: Life hacker