Sometimes silence should be not only in the library. Here’s when it is still worth observing it.
1. Nobody asked you
You have definitely come across people who everywhere need to express their own opinions and criticize someone else’s appearance, behavior, and lifestyle. If another does it, it is always noticeable how inappropriate such statements are. But we often do not notice this behind ourselves.
Unsolicited advice and comments may have rational explanations. For example, it seems that they act out of good intentions; it will be better for a person if he corrects himself. In fact, this, of course, is not altruism, but selfishness – to consider your opinion so important that the addressee thinks and begins to remake himself according to your standards. It is also tactless, and often – and outright rudeness.
Rule of thumb: the fork is held with the left hand, the knife is held with the right, and the tongue is behind the teeth, if no one asks for your advice or comment. And this also applies to comments on the Internet.
There are exceptions; sometimes, it is appropriate to intervene if a person’s behavior is dangerous for himself and others. But usually, in such cases, there are much fewer people willing to speak up than when it comes to a new haircut or unwillingness to marry.
Read also: 9 Things Not Worth Apologizing For
2. It doesn’t concern you
Many questions in our society are asked so often that they are no longer perceived as personal. For example, if someone is sick, they can easily be asked what exactly, although the topic of health is delicate. The number of earnings can also be classified as personal if the interlocutor does not personally sit on your neck, relationships, views on childbirth, and much more.
Such questions put a person in an awkward situation, even if he evades the answer – laughs it off or translates the topic. Therefore, it is better not to ask them at all. In the end, the answer will not change anything; anyway, it will only satisfy your curiosity.
3. You are on edge and poorly controlled
When a scandal is nearing its climax and emotions overwhelm, it is almost impossible to follow the expressions. It is easy to lose your head and utter words whose purpose is only to hit harder. And the closer the person is to you, the easier it is to hit the target. When you know someone well, you see their vulnerabilities. That is why the accusations look plausible, as they fall on fertile ground. Then it’s impossible to explain that you don’t really think so.
If emotions are overwhelming, it is better to take a break, cool down, and return to the conversation with a sober head. True, it is still worth talking about what is happening and not just shutting up. Otherwise, it can be perceived as ignorance, which is also unpleasant.
4. The conflict fades away on its own
It happens that the quarrel has come to naught. The participants recovered their breath and calmed down. Then, one of them remembers something and the conflict goes on in a second circle, becoming stronger and more destructive.
It’s good when, after clarifying the relationship, everything can be put on the shelves. Trying to forget the unpleasant things is a bad strategy that will eventually lead to new fights. However, if something comes up in memory when the current conflict is over, it is worth analyzing whether it is relevant. It makes sense to remain silent because it will definitely not work out to have a constructive conversation right now.
5. You are deliberately provoked
Trolling is a deliberate provocation to piss off a person. Even cats practice it when over and over again throw something off the table with their fluffy paws and watch you freak out.
The troll does not defend his opinion; he does not conduct a dialogue with you at all. He acts in the spotlight and plays the role of the person who pisses you off. And he can definitely do it if you allow yourself to be involved in this game. Do not allow.
Adapted and translated by The Cop Cart Staff
Sources: Life hacker