Although modesty is not a fault, extreme shyness might interfere with your personal life and career. We have collected specific and really working methods that will help you finally get out of the cocoon and start communicating normally with people.
1. Make a list of problem situations
It is preferable to begin problem solving with analysis. Therefore, take note of and write down any instances where you felt embarrassed. Be very specific. Instead of “talking to people,” indicate exactly which people you are talking about; strangers, members of the opposite sex, or those in power.
When you take a problem apart, it already seems more solvable.
Then try to arrange the recorded situations to increase anxiety (calling a stranger likely causes less anxiety than speaking in front of an audience).
This list can then be used as a plan for dealing with shyness. By starting small, you will cope with increasingly difficult situations. And the confidence will increase with every triumph, and shyness, accordingly, will decrease.
Read also: 5 Ways to Change Yourself For The Better
2. Record your strengths
Another list to help you overcome embarrassments is about your positive qualities. Shyness is usually caused by low self-esteem. Fight it mercilessly, reminding yourself of your own magnificence (this is not a joke). Even for flaws, try to identify a downside. It may be difficult for you to lead a long monologue, but you are great at listening. This is a communication skill that can and should be applied as well.
3. Decide on a goal
When something is purposeful, it is far more effective. It is obvious that persistent shame interferes with daily living, but you need to explain to yourself what exactly interferes with you. The formulated goal may become the impetus for overcoming the old problem.
Despite the fact that I’m a performer, writer, and radio host, I am an introvert at heart. But as the head of the company, I had to talk about our products and services. This required me to get out of my shell and deliver a message to the world. I overcame shyness by realizing that only I can deliver my message correctly. I made efforts to improve my comfort level when interacting with strangers and giving speeches in public.
Skills need to be honed, and behaviors that interfere with daily living must be eliminated in a methodical manner. All this applies to sociability and shyness. Here are some ideas you can use as a kind of workout.
- Reprogram yourself. Imagine that your shyness is a program in your brain that runs in response to certain situations, and you, as a computer user, have the power to influence this process. Try to go from the opposite direction and do the opposite of what you are used to. Want to hide in a corner at a party? Go to the thick of things. Caught yourself thinking that in a conversation, you are taking a defensive position? Try to ask the other person a few questions.
- Talk to strangers. Try to talk to one stranger at least once a day (preferably with a stranger). Most likely, you will never see it again, so feel free to hone your communication skills on it.
- In general, communicate more. Try to use every opportunity to make contact with people. Tell jokes, agree to speeches, say hello to those you meet often, but never greet.
- Warm-up before an important conversation. Do you want to talk to a specific person at a party but are afraid to approach him? Practice with less embarrassing people. When it comes to an acquaintance, try to tell them everything that you plan to say in front of the right person. After such a rehearsal, it will be easier to speak.
- And always get ready to speak publicly. But don’t limit yourself to just repeating speech. Visualize your future audience success. This will give you confidence.
5. Focus on others
One of the issues with being shy is that they think too much about themselves and their impressions of others. Try to redirect the flow of thoughts away from yourself to others. Get interested, ask, empathize. When you’re focused on the other person, anxiety about your own behavior fades into the background.
6. Try new things
Get out of your comfort zone. Firstly, this step will positively affect your self-esteem, and secondly, it will diversify your life. You can enroll in sports or art classes. Another great option is the improvisation workshops. Such activities help to liberate.
7. Watch your body language
Making eye contact, correct posture, speaking loudly and clearly, as well as smiling and shaking hands firmly inform others of your confidence and openness. Not only that, but these impulses deceive your brain a little and really start to feel freer.
8. Say “no” less often
Much has been said about the significance of the word “no.” Shy people, on the other hand, should avoid it. Their resistance (expressed both verbally and physically) is often dictated by fear of the unknown and unfounded fear of shame. If you want to stop being shy, learn to say yes to the opportunities life presents.
9. Learn to manage anxiety
Some of the physiological reactions associated with shyness are very difficult to overcome. Someone starts to stutter, someone blushes violently, or forget the simplest words. It is nearly hard to put a halt to this with one effort of will. The ability to swiftly relax, such as through deep breathing, will help to cope with the problem.
Also read: 10 Things To Let Go Of To Be Happy
10. Don’t advertise your shyness
You should not focus your and others’ attention on the fact that you have communication problems. So you label yourself and subconsciously reinforce the belief that shyness is your constant trait.
Even if others notice your shyness, pretend that this is an accident, discuss it lightly, and not as a serious problem. Are you starting to blush? Say that this is a physical feature of yours and not a stress reaction. And never characterize yourself as shy in front of strangers. Allow them to create their own opinions and notice other, more interesting features of yours.
Adapted and translated by The Cop Cart Staff
Sources: Life hacker