So, you’ve finished your office romance, threw away all reminders, deleted joint photos from social networks, complained to friends and girlfriends. Working together with a once loved one is hard. There are several ways to survive the ending of an office romance, even if your ex is sitting at the next table.
Any break in relations is a blow, but ending a romance in the office is a completely different situation. Unfortunately, it doesn’t matter if you broke up by mutual decision or someone left the game unilaterally. But this is not a reason to change jobs. Let’s see what we can do to smooth out the consequences of the breakup.
1. Agree on neutral behavior
We hope you and your partner agreed initially not to mix work and personal issues. If not, now is the time to do so. Don’t let relationship difficulties ruin your reputation or affect your performance. You need to dot the I’s and decide how you will communicate.
At work, only business communication is allowed, and first of all you will have to adhere to this principle.
Even if you split up as friends and maintain a good relationship, carry it over to workflow. Remember that everything is over between you. And at least for the first time, do not bother each other.
2. Professional etiquette
Treat your ex the same way you treat other colleagues, even if it seems impossible. Communicate politely (especially if you recently split up) and only on work topics. No sarcastic remarks, even at the limit of hearing. Sometimes it is difficult to bite your tongue in time, but you have to; no one will get better from the office’s squabble.
It’s harder to stay in line with corporate ethics if a former partner provokes a scandal and acts like an offended schoolboy after a bad party. It is corny, but there are no recipes other than completely ignoring attacks in your direction.
3. No gossip
After a relationship breaks down, it’s tempting to wash your ex’s bones with anyone willing to listen. This is generally the first item on the “What to do after a breakup” list. Only office romance has different conditions.
No office gossip, do not chat with colleagues about the details of your breakup (even if they torture you, keep quiet like a partisan).
If your inner voice demands revenge and tells you how to ruin your partner’s reputation, you will not achieve anything, just ignore and move on.
4. No revenge
By the way, about photos, secrets, and compromising evidence, leave such passions to the series’s writers and don’t turn the office into a soap opera set. If you broke up, this is not a reason to delay the report, not transfer documents on time or disrupt a client’s meeting to a former partner.
At work, you sail in the same boat, so discard any dislike as unnecessary ballast.
5. Reduce communication
So, you accepted that your pride needs to be calmed down, negative emotions – muffled and continue to work with this person. This does not involve communication for all 40 working hours.
While the wound is still fresh, use the old avoidance tactic. Because of the former, you should not miss meetings and corporate parties, but there is always an opportunity to adjust the work schedule to minimize overlap.
By the way, about a visit to a corporate party. For you, 100% sober. This is out of the question. If you recently completed an affair, do not play with alcohol in front of colleagues. There are few jokes on this topic, so bad are the consequences of a glass of wine at a work party with exes.
Come to work a little earlier so as not to walk down the hallway in the oppressive silence. Please don’t rush to the cafeteria when it’s lunchtime with your ex or go to lunch with someone else. If emotions are powerful and you cannot work calmly, take a vacation for a couple of weeks, throw out all the negativity and leave it as far from the work chair possible.
6. Channel your energy into a peaceful track
At some point, parting will take over all your thoughts. This is normal; we are all human. But stop bothering with the fact that the former partner is already going on a new date. Direct all the energy from unnecessary emotions to work.
It’s not always easy, but try to leave emotions outside the office door. You need to complete the required hours. Concentration on work will distract you from mental anguish. And at the same time, you show your boss how well you can work. The prize will definitely sweeten the pill a little.
7. Don’t talk about yourself
Don’t talk about your personal life. Sooner or later, you will start a new relationship.
Even if enough time has passed and the separation has become the past, do not wake up resentment and do not explain over the speakerphone that you are going on vacation with a new passion.
Do not give a reason for gossip and not try to show your unearthly happiness despite your ex. If you are asked for details, it is best to interrupt the conversation. After all, the person must remain personal.
8. Remember your experience
Nothing is surprising or bad in the emergence of office romances. We spend too much time at work, and many colleagues open up with attractive aspects. But as you recover from a failed relationship, assess the consequences. Was this novel worth the subsequent difficulties? Maybe, maybe not. Whatever you decide, weigh the pros and cons, especially if you will dive into new romantic relationships in the workplace.
Adapted and translated by The Cop Cart Staff
Sources: Life hacker