Parting with a loved one is a serious test. But you can make it even more unbearable by doing various stupid things. Keep reading to find out.
How to ruin your life after a breakup
1. Continue to be together
This is an obvious mistake, but your brain may disguise it as an excuse, like hanging out with friends. And now you are already having dinner with mutual friends or together, going to the cinema, meeting in a bar, arranging home gatherings.
This only increases your emotional attachment to your ex.
Also, you force yourself to go through real hell while simultaneously trying to accept that the relationship no longer exists and drunk with happiness when you hug him or her goodbye.
2. Thinking that you are true soul mates
Continuing to believe that you are the only person who can understand your ex is only feeding the illusion. And all the nightly heart-to-heart conversations are more dragging you into the quagmire of the past. Remember that both of you or one of you chose to end the relationship despite all the closeness.
3. Write to him or her about everything and as often as possible
Email your ex to find out how they are doing. Write to tell them you got the job. Be sure to let them know that you still consider him a friend. And be sure to write again if the previous messages remained unanswered – what if he didn’t notice them? This is a great way to stay in a state of eternal waiting and not move on.
4. Pursue a former partner
When by hook or by crook, you find out the ex-partner’s location and, as it were, accidentally bump into him in a bar. This is a wake-up call; it smells of addiction.
The same goes for the endless checking of his social networks. Whom did he add as a friend, what does he do, what does he write about? You hope that this person is still suffering, and he, most likely, has already recovered from the breakup or even entered into a new relationship.
Unless you’re a masochist, stop following your ex’s life. At least for a while, until the first pain subsides.
5. Talk bad about your ex-partner
Every time you remember the former, even if not in the kindest terms, it seems to materialize in the present, And the more you talk about him (good and bad), the more you invite him back into your life. Love and hate are two sides of the same coin. Neutrality should be your goal.
6. Return things in person
There is no need to look for unnecessary excuses for meetings when the decision to break up has already been made. Even if you need to return his or her things and pick up yours, you can always ask your friends for help or order a courier. And something can be thrown away altogether; an old toothbrush is unlikely to be of special value to someone.
7. Switch to a relationship with a friend
The compensatory relationship does not lead to good. But it’s even worse if right after the breakup you try to comfort a broken heart with an old boyfriend or girlfriend. As a result, he or she will be hurt, and you will be ashamed.
If you “suddenly” noticed how sweet and charming your friend is, slow down. In order not to lose it.
8. Dream of a former partner
Often imagine how he suffers or how he has a plan to get you back. And, of course, don’t think that right now he might be relaxing with his friends and enjoying life. Such obsession will help you to experience parting for a long time and painfully.
9. Constantly think “what if”
A story similar to the previous one. You again fixate on the ex-partner and torment yourself with ethereal illusions. But what if you are destined to be together? What if not?
10. Register on all dating services
To start a new relationship, you need to deal with old ones. If you rush headlong in search of a new partner, then most likely
- you will begin to compare everyone with the previous one and suffer even more about it
- enter the wrong relationship with the wrong person and spoil the blood for him and yourself
- don’t learn from experience and make the same mistakes
11. Sleep with someone
Another great way to remember how good you were with your loved one. Or feel like a traitor when feelings for your ex or ex are still strong.
12. Revel in grief
It is tough to endure the pain at first. If you finish yourself off with the thought that the main love story of your life has ended and is no longer expected, it will become a thousand times harder. And meeting someone new with a similar mindset is very problematic.
How to improve your life after a breakup
1. Avoid talking and meeting with your ex for at least two months
This means that you need to protect yourself as much as possible from accidental collisions.
If you are likely to cross on your way to work, change your route. If you can meet at a store or gym, find a new place to shop and exercise.
The same goes for messages and calls. It is better to temporarily block an ex-partner in social networks or delete his phone number than to see him online or in contacts constantly.
It sounds a little unfair because you have to give up something. But this is for your own good.
2. Go in for sports
First, physical activity releases the hormones of happiness that are so essential for your condition. Secondly, sports will relieve the head and help relieve tension.
3. Get busy rebuilding your life
The end of one stage is the beginning of a new one. So when the relationship ends, you have a chance to change something in your life. You can start with the closet. Just take it apart and throw away all unnecessary things. Or connect your imagination and come up with a new use for them. Finding a new hobby or hobby will not be superfluous either.
4. Meet your friends
You finally have a lot of time to meet your favorite friends. Use it!
Or at the bottom of a bucket of ice cream. Attempts to numb the pain with alcohol and food backfire, making you feel even worse. Better do something really nice and useful for yourself. Go for a massage, spa, beauty salon, or steam room. Just relax, because you deserve it.
Adapted and translated by The Cop Cart Staff
Sources: Life hacker
- 1 How to ruin your life after a breakup
- 1.1 1. Continue to be together
- 1.2 2. Thinking that you are true soul mates
- 1.3 3. Write to him or her about everything and as often as possible
- 1.4 Read also: 10 Psychological Tricks to Make People Like You
- 1.5 4. Pursue a former partner
- 1.6 5. Talk bad about your ex-partner
- 1.7 6. Return things in person
- 1.8 7. Switch to a relationship with a friend
- 1.9 8. Dream of a former partner
- 1.10 9. Constantly think “what if”
- 1.11 10. Register on all dating services
- 1.12 11. Sleep with someone
- 1.13 12. Revel in grief
- 2 How to improve your life after a breakup